Making a life change is rarely as simple as deciding you want something different. Sometimes the hardest part is realizing that what you’re doing is still good—it’s just no longer the work you’re supposed to be doing.
In September of 2024, a friend handed me a book: 10x Is Easier Than 2x by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy. I didn’t know it at the time, but that book quietly started undoing a belief I’d been carrying for years: That working harder was the answer, doing more meant being more responsible, and holding on proved commitment.
Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.
One book led to another. Then podcasts. Then learning about people like Dan Kennedy and Russell Brunson. Names I had never heard before, but lessons I desperately needed. And eventually, one realization hit hard:
I could not keep doing outside work and expect HolistiCare to grow the way it needed to.
I had to choose.
The Hard Part About Making a Life Change When Nothing Is “Wrong”
I think that’s what made the decision harder. I wasn’t walking away from work that didn’t matter. My work in nursing homes and outpatient care mattered. I was helping people. I was using skills I had spent years developing. There was value in what I was doing.
It was good work.
But good work can still keep you from the work you are supposed to be doing next. That was difficult for me to accept because when you’re used to being the person who handles things, helps people, says yes, and figures it out, letting something go can feel irresponsible.
We’re taught to ask: Can I keep doing this?
I was learning to ask a very different question: Should I?
Sometimes making a life change starts with finally asking yourself that second question.
Over the next three months, I slowly stepped away from my work in nursing homes and outpatient care.
Not dramatically. Not overnight. Intentionally.
And honestly? It was cathartic.
When My Attention Stopped Being Divided, Everything Changed
For the first time, I was fully present in the home.
Planning activities. Training staff. Creating routines that actually worked. Building connection instead of squeezing it in when I had energy left.
I wasn’t constantly trying to figure out which responsibility deserved the next available piece of me.
Something shifted when my attention stopped being divided.
That’s what making a life change gave me: the space to be fully present for the work I had decided mattered most. And I started to understand that doing less wasn’t necessarily about caring less.
Sometimes doing less in one place is exactly what allows you to do something else exceptionally well. Of course, that didn’t mean everything suddenly became easy.
Far from it.
Then Came OOPS Number One
We were so eager to expand that we bought a property without fully understanding what approval would take for assisted living. That mistake earned us a quick denial.
Ouch.
There is nothing quite like being excited about your next big move and then having someone essentially hand you a piece of paper that says: Nope.
But buried in that paperwork was the answer: special land use.
So we kept going. Six months of back-and-forth later, an ordinance change opened the door to building an independent senior living community.
Not the path we expected. But still a path forward.
And Then Came OOPS Number Two
Funding was harder than we expected. That’s when the uncertainty really settled in.
You can have the vision, you can do the research, you can work through the approvals, you can believe deeply in what you’re building, and there can still be a piece of the puzzle you haven’t figured out yet.
For us, that piece has been funding.
While I’ve been learning marketing and redefining my role, my husband and I have been searching for an investor for our 18-bed project in Niles, Michigan. That’s another thing I’ve learned about making a life change: choosing a new direction doesn’t mean the new road will suddenly be easy.
At the same time, something else started happening. Other investors began approaching me about helping them launch assisted living homes of their own.
That caught my attention. Because sometimes the next direction doesn’t arrive with a giant sign saying: THIS IS THE PLAN.
Sometimes it shows up as a conversation. A question someone keeps asking you. A problem you realize you know how to solve. Or an opportunity you wouldn’t have noticed if you were still too busy doing everything else.
Making a Life Change Made the Right Work Clearer
The timing matters. And for now, my focus is clear.
Children of aging parents need education, preparation, and guidance before crisis hits.
I have watched families make difficult decisions under pressure because nobody showed them what to prepare for beforehand.
I’ve watched daughters carry information nobody else in the family has.
I’ve watched families tour care communities without knowing what to ask.
And I’ve watched people make decisions about Mom or Dad while exhausted, scared, and learning an entirely new world overnight.
There is work to be done before families reach that moment.
That’s where I know I need to be. Teaching. Preparing. Creating resources. Sharing what I’ve learned. Helping families recognize what’s coming while they have time and space to make thoughtful decisions.
This season has been humbling. I’ve had to learn things I never expected to need. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve changed direction. And there are still pieces I’m figuring out. But each challenge has moved me toward the work that matters most to me.
Letting go of good work made room for the right work.
Maybe you’re standing at a crossroads of your own. Maybe something good is taking up the time, energy, or attention you need for something that matters more now.
Making a life change doesn’t always require knowing exactly where the new road will lead. Sometimes you just recognize that you can’t stay where you are.
I can’t tell you what to hold onto or what to release. But I can tell you that growth rarely looks as clean while you’re living through it as it does when you tell the story afterward.
Sometimes you don’t know you’re making room for the next thing until it finally has room to arrive.
Growth rarely looks clean. But it’s almost always worth it.
This Is Part of the “Right Work” I’m Talking About
One of the things that came out of this new season is something I wish every family had before the phone call, the fall, the hospital visit, or the moment everyone suddenly looks at each other and asks:
“Okay…where is everything?”
I created the Complete Grab & Go Aging Parent Care System to help families get the information that matters out of their heads, phones, drawers, and family group texts—and into one organized place.
Emergency information. Provider details. Appointment and tracking tools. Questions for doctor visits. Guides for the conversations with Mom and your siblings. Legal, financial, medication, and safety checklists. Tools for making sure someone besides you knows what is going on.
It’s the system I want families to have BEFORE a crisis happens.
And through September 30, you can get the Complete Grab & Go Aging Parent Care System for $197.
SEE WHAT’S INSIDE THE COMPLETE SYSTEM
September pricing ends September 30.
Stay Connected With Me
If you’re navigating the changes that come with an aging parent—or simply want to be better prepared before your family reaches a crisis—I’d love to have you join the Save Our Sanity Society newsletter.
Each month, I share real stories, practical guidance, resources, and lessons from nearly 30 years of working with older adults and their families.
And you can choose exactly how you want to receive it.
Prefer to read it from your phone or computer? Get the free digital monthly newsletter delivered directly to your inbox.
SEND ME THE DIGITAL NEWSLETTER
Prefer something you can hold onto, highlight, or share with someone else? Request the free printed edition and we’ll mail it directly to your home.
MAIL ME THE PRINTED NEWSLETTER
Choose the version that works best for you. Both are free.
Your partner in care,
Shelley
